Thursday, April 3, 2003

New meme, courtesy of Josh, via Ombre, by way of... and on and on and on.

How do you take your tea?
Iced, lotsa sugar, in a tall glass.

Do you give names to inanimate objects?
Not really, unless cars count.

Your love life: epic poem, short-story, or couplet?
More like scrawled graffiti on a bathroom stall. Probably a limerick.

Ketchup or mustard?
Ketchup. Josh says it's a redneck condiment, but I know better. All good rednecks only use TRUCK STOP condiments!

Your most interesting story behind an injury.
Lesson 1: Never make a home for fireflies in a Cool Whip bowl.
Lesson 2: Keep all sharp objects away from your knuckles!

Caesar salad in ten words or less:
Crisp lettuce, tangy dressing, toasty croutons and parmesan, GIMME SOME!

PBR or NPR? OR pour PBR on NPR? OR PBR with NPR?
NPR on PBR! Especially listening to "PHC"

"I Love You", about 2/3 of the manual alphabet, and the lyrics to "The One I Love" by REM.

Now that's the silliest thing I ever... SNAKESSNAKESGETEMOFFMEOMIGODIMGONNADIIIIEEEEE... ever heard.

Naaah, I ain't down with that, dirty.

CNN: news mogul, story monger, or shit mongrel?
Story monger. Fox News, on the other hand, is pure shit mongrel!

Favorite RPG, assuming you recognize the abbreviation. Assuming you
don't, take this: METEO!

Hmmmm, gotta go with Star Trek Starfleet Battles. It's SOOOOO awesome!

Holes in Socks: Proudly worn comfort scars or throw them bitches away?
Comfort scaars, though I try to tuck the holes between my toesies.

A song you've been singing the wrong lyrics to forever:
"Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another boner in the night"

The penis: culmination of evolution or ho-hum sexual dirigible?
Penis? Never heard of it.

Confess and we will shrive you of your sin: have you ever pulled the skin
Pulled it? Hell, son, I... maybe it's best you don't know.

Favorite cocktail? Addendum: whats in it? Duodendum: get it?
Screwdriver. Vodka and OJ (the juice, not the killer). Yes I do.

Any sport(s) you're passionate about?

Beach or Mountains?

Dog or cat?
They're both cute, but I gotta go with cat.

Cunnilingist: conniseur or glorified version of a pelican?
*whistles faintly*

The vagina: enigma of smegma or segue to Heaven?

With which of the seven dwarves (or eight, if you insist) do you most identify?

Most artistic use of profanity you've commited/seen commited?
"We just lie on our beds and piss money all day." -Kathy Truett

Which most complements corpulence: spandex, lace, or cheese cloth?
Cheese cloth, preferably in many, many layers.

Despite all your rage, are you still just a rat in a cage?
Well what I really want to know is: Are you gonna go my way?

Which Bond character most personifies your libido:
What was Christopher Walken's character in A View to a Kill? That one.

What would you have done with your mortal remains?
Bury 'em on a hill on Beech Mountain, NC.

What would we find under your car seats?
Marcellus Wallace's soul.

Does the carpet match the curtains?
A little darker, but yeah.

Whats going on in the background?
The latest episode of South Park.

What are you wearing, no, better yet, what am I wearing right now? Talk
dirty, slave!

I'm wearing a Trustus t-shirt and a pair of sleep bottoms. You are wearing... i seeeee... CLOTHES!

Good night, Springdale. There will be no encore.

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