Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Christmas Songs part 7: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town-Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

Now, I know that there are many, many versions of this song (and I think Eddie Cantor even recorded the original version), but this one is my favorite. Why?

a) It's Bruce. BRUUUUUUCE!

b) His version rocks the house. The opening monologue, where he asks the audience and the band if they were good boys and girls all year slays me! That, plus the fact that the band sounds as if they're having the time of their lives, just does my heart good.

c) My favorite moment of the song is when "Santa" apparently comes onstage and for whatever reason, Bruce can't sing the song without cracking up with laughter. I can't find any reference online as to what caused this, but whatever it was, it just tops the cake o' fun that is "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town".

Recommendation: Listen when driving, particularly when going down the interstate. The closer you are to Jersey, the better!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Christmas Songs part 6: Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth

Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth-Bing Crosby/David Bowie

I was going to write down the story of the recording of this particular song, but I actually found a site that explains it quite well. Click here.

A particularly interesting bit of trivia about this song was that Bing and Bowie recorded their duet on September 11. Ironic that 24 years after the fact, America would be plunged into a well of war and terror.

The song itself is absolutely lovely. Whatever reason that they had for making this a counterpointed duet, the two songs mesh well together, and it's amazing to hear the merging of the voice of the old crooner with that of one of rock's legendary chameleons in his prime.

Sometimes I miss the old celebrity Christmas specials. Back in the 70's and early 80's, you could count on seasonal appearances by Bing, Perry Como, Bob Hope, and many others. Now they're all gone. I know Nick Laschey and Jessica Simpson tried to resurrect the format a couple of years ago, but it just didn't seem right. Maybe I need to shop around a "Clint McGuire Christmas". :)

Recommendation: find the "Bing Crosby Christmas" DVD, watch this segment over and over until you can sing the "Peace On Earth" part, and duet with someone.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Christmas Songs part 5: White Christmas

White Christmas-Bing Crosby

I believe this song once held the record for biggest selling single of all time. For all I know it still does. The fact of the matter is, for me it just isn't Christmas without hearing Bing Crosby sing "White Christmas" It was composed by Irving Berlin back in 1942 for the movie "Holiday Inn", and won an Academy Award for his writing efforts. It was successful enough to inspire a movie called "White Christmas" several years later. Since then, many have tried, but no one has been able to equal the original. Rest in peace, old crooner. We'll be talking more about you in another song.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Christmas Songs part 4: Merry Christmas From The Family

Merry Christmas From The Family-Robert Earl Keen

I believe this will be the most recently released (in its original form) song on my list. I first heard "MCftF" on the John Boy and Billy show back in the mid 90s, and I lved it from the first time that I heard it.

It's basically a redneck Christmas song, complete with trailers, kids from multiple marriages, chain-smoking and trips to the Stop 'n Go. It hits close to home, or at least to the home I grew up in. If the Eagles' "Please Come Home for Christmas" is Don Henley lounging by the pool alone on 12-24, this song is Keen in a dirty resin chair at the trailer park tellin' his nephew "Go gimme a beer; and not one of them sissy 'Sam Adams' holiday brews, neither!"

Just to show you what I mean here, I'm gonna include the lyrics to this one, and if you don't have this song, go and seek it out.

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinkin' champagne punch
And homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him
'Til he sang Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
>From his second wife MaryNell
Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stero plays
Noel, Noel, The first Noel

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix Margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extention cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motorhome in
They blew our Christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh Silent Night

Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Dite Sprite
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Feliz Navidad.


Recommendation: Play it at a party, when everyone is good 'n drunk. Better yet, learn to play it on a guitar, and play it at the party!

Friday, December 9, 2005

Christmas Songs part 3: Please Come Home For Christmas

Please Come Home For Christmas-Charles Brown/The Eagles

This was a pretty important Christmas song for me. When I was growning up and listening to the local rock station, the Eagles version was one of the songs they would play most often. When I was 17, it became especially crucial to me, and in my development as a young man.

I was living in Florida at the time, and trying to fit in as best as I could, being that I had spent the previous seven years living on top of a mountain in the backwoods of North Carolina. I was a member of a club called the "Outdoorsmen Club", which could more accurately have been called the "Field Trip Club", since most of the places we went were not exactly rugged, remote terrain.

That Christmas, we had a team scavenger hunt that would lead us to a secret location for a dance/party. Me and my team of shepherds went looking all around Daytona Beach for clues until we finally figured out that the party would be at a hotel on the beachfront. We got there, and the party was in full swing. Being that it was a sponsored event, there was no alcohol, but we all had a pretty good time anyway.

I remember the DJ was playing the hits of the day through the evening, and I was wanting to dance with someone, ANYONE before the night was over. Finally, this song played, and I got up my nerve. I went over and asked a girl I was familiar with, named Stephanie Swisher, if she would dance with me. She said "yes", and we slow danced to this and the next one ("Happy Christmas", see below). Nothing else ever happened between us, but I appreciated Stephanie dancing with me, geek that I was/am.

I don't know; I realize that Charles Brown was the first artist to make this song popular, but I really like the Eagles' version more. Maybe it's the kind of "California vibe" they put into it. Maybe it's Don Henley's plaintive voice as he sings it. Maybe it's the memories of my first ever slow dance. Sorry, Charles.

Recommendation: The Eagles version, followed immediately on your Christmas mix by "Happy Christmas (War is Over)"

Thursday, December 8, 2005

Christmas Songs part 2: Happy Chrsitmas (War is Over)

I thought this would be especially appropriate today, given that this marks the 25th anniversary of the assasination of John Lennon. First, I'd like to tell my "when I heard" story, adn then I'll move on to the song.

I heard the news of his death that night, when I was staying at my grandmother's house. She was widowed, and lonely, and the three oldest kids in my family took turns staying the night at her house, which lay down the hill from ours in the mountains of North Carolina. I remmeber the day before, listeining to American Top 40 on the radio, and hoping that his comeback single "Starting Over" would reach the top of the charts. That night I watched television, and I believe it was CBS. I can't remember what was on that night; I think it was a movie.

As network programming was about to give way to the local news at 11:00, a "Special Report" graphic came up on the screen. I thought for a moment that something may have happened with the American hostages in Iran, but it was worse than that. The announcer informed me (and millions of others) that John Lennon had been shot and killed outside his apartment in New York City.

I was stunned.

I stayed up a little longer, watching the news, and went to bed around 11:30 (it was a school night). I turned on the radio, and the radio station out of Johnson City, TN was playing Beatles music. I left the radio on all night, and went to sleep with John, Paul, George and Ringo serenading me in a vain attempt to assure me that all would be right in the world.

The next day, people were talking about Lennon and The Beatles. Some were already making tasteless jokes about the shooting. I heard a couple of people ask what the big deal was; I just shook my head and kept myself focused on my schoolwork. A few days later, I went out and bought the "Starting Over" 45. I wish I still had it, but it was lost in a fire in 1990.

That's my story. On to the song.

"Happy Christmas (War Is Over)"-The Plastic Ono Band

"Happy Christmas (War Is Over)" was a single released by John and Yoko (and the Plastic Ono Band) in 1972, as part of an effort to keep protesting the war in Vietnam, but also as a general message of peach throughout the world.

Many things stand out to me in the song. First is the gently whispered "Happy Christmas John" "Happy Christmas Yoko" at the beginning. It's beautiful to hear these two people expressing their love for one another. The lyrics are pretty simple, but the joy with which they're sung carry the tune for me. Yoko is actually bearable in this song. In general, a beautiful, uplifting song, even if it's tampered a little by Lennon's fate.

War is over, if you want it.

Wednesday, December 7, 2005

Christmas Songs part 1: Have Yourself a Merry....

I have decided that for the time between now and Christmas I would dedicate this blog to discussing some of my favorite Christmas recordings, and why I like them so much. If I had thought of this sooner, I could have turned it into a kind of advent calendar. Anyway, on to my first choice:

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas-Judy Garland/Frank Sinatra/The Pretenders

This song is one of my favorites to sing to over the holidays, and all of these recordings just reek of awesomeness, in my humble opinion.

Judy Garland is responsible for first giving voice to this song, having performed it in the film musical "Meet Me in St. Louis." Word is she was a little uncomfortable with some of the lyrics, and changed some of them around. One she didn't change was the line "Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow." When Frank Sinatra recorded his version a few years later, he changed the line to "Hang a shining star upon the highest bow." I personally have no probllem with either version, though I have to admit I will more often sing the latter than the former.

As much as I like the Garland version, however, it's the Pretenders' cover that leaves me at the point of tears. Chrissy Hynde puts so much longing and sadness in her voice as she sings, it's almost unbearable. And yet, it absolutely sets the mood of the song, which is as much melancholy as hope. As a younger man, not having found the woman of my dreams, I would often listen to this song at Christmas and daydream of She Who Would Complete Me. Unfortunately, I went through several red herrings before I found her, but that's the way it goes.

Recommendation: Garland for the Christmas party, Pretenders for drinking by the fire after the party, Frank for staring at the tree anytime.

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Feelin' Minnesota

Thought I'd share this in case anyone gives a damn.

It's been a couple of rough days for me. Yesterday, I came home and found that I had a "Dear John" letter from Kennesaw State regarding the photog job I had interviewed for. Actually, calling it a "letter" is generous; it looked more like one of those customer comment cards you see at a restaurant, where you can rate the server, food, etc. Not a happy moment for me, especially I went 1000 miles round-trip for this thing.

Then Ian decided that he wanted to wake up early this morning. Like, 3:00 this morning. Kathy took him and tried to get him to go back to sleep. Somewhere around 5, he apparently passed out, so she put him back in his crib. 5 minutes later, he woke up crying again, so it was my turn. I've been up since then, and frankly, I'm a little fried.

Finally, around 4:30, our custodian had come in to do his job here at the paper, and he had no sooner come in the door than he had a heart attack. He died in our mailroom. He was 93.

Anyway, that's the news from Nowhere, VA.

Monday, December 5, 2005

Alkie!

Bourbon
Congratulations! You're 123 proof, with specific scores in beer (60) , wine (83), and liquor (86).
Screw all that namby-pamby chick stuff, you're going straight for the bottle and a shot glass! It'll take more than a few shots of Wild Turkey or 99 Bananas before you start seeing pink elephants. You know how to handle your alcohol, and yourself at parties.



My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 45% on proof
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 46% on beer index
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 62% on wine index
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 62% on liquor index
Link: The Alcohol Knowledge Test written by hoppersplit on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Thursday, December 1, 2005

Blog Against Racism Day: My Post

Today marks the 50th anniversary of the day the late Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a Montgomery AL bus to a white man, thus jumpstarting the civil rights movement and moving the United States towards greater racial/cultural equality. Today, bloggers throughout the Internet are taking time out to commemorate this event by blogging about racism and what we can do to help combat it. What follows are my own expreiences and opinions, and I encourage you (if you have a blog) to participare in Blog Againts Racism Day.
----------
I come from a long line of racists and bigots. My ancestors owned slaves and fought for the Confederacy. I suspect that some members of my ancestral family may even have belonged to the Klan, although I have never gotten a straight answer on that question. More directly, my father and grandfather exhibited some pretty reprehensible attitudes towards members of other races, particularly African-Americans.

I can recall as a child (and even growing into adulthood) hearing my dad, grandfather and uncles sitting around telling racist jokes in as loud a voice as possible, making sure that everyone heard them pronouncing the word "nigger" over and over again. As I grew older and learned to speak, I assumed that was what one called African-Americans.

It all came to a head when I was about seven years old. My mom, siblings, and a cousin were all on a shopping trip, and Mom stopped off at a store to run in and pick up a couple of items. As we kids waited in the car, we watched the mostly-Black shoppers moving through the parking lot. My cousin started daring me to call out to the African-Americans as they walked past our car. Unfortunately, I took her up on her dare, and I started calling out the window "Hey, niggers!" Some looked at me, others just waked past, and after a couple of minutes, my mom came running out the store and scolded me, telling my "I don't want to hear you saying that again, you hear me?"

I stopped, fearing a punishment far worse than scolding. As the weeks and months passed, I began thinking about it. What was wrong with that word? Why could my parents and grandparents use it at will at home, while we couldn't use it in public? It took me years to truly understand. In the meantime, I went to school and interacted with children of other races, and I found that with a few cultural differences here and there, they were just like me. And the more that I learned with African-Americans, the less and less funny I found the racist jokes I heard at home.

Yet the racism I was exposed to at home continued unabated. My grandfather actually said once that the Dred Scott decision was a "good idea". My dad threatened to disown us, his children, if we ever came home with a Black girlfriend/boyfriend. An aunt we visited in Oklahoma went on almost nonstop about the "Mexicans" that were committing the sin of breathing her air.

Even with all this, however, I continued to evolve my outlook regarding those different from me. I read "Soul on Ice" and Frederick Douglass' autobiography. I became enamoured of hip-hop and rap music. I even hung out with African-Americans after we finished our shifts at the fast food restaurants we worked in together. To my detriment, I didn't grow those associations into friendships, largely because of my fear of my father. Looking back, I think I had much more in common with them than with him.

When I became an adult, I came to the conclusion that I had no time for racism. I began to leave the room whenever I felt a racist joke or rant coming on from a family member. I began to speak to my mom about my feelings at length, and though she found herself in agreement on most issues regarding civil rights, she couldn't quite get over some aspects. She stopped using the N-word in my presence, something I really appreciated.

As my siblings have grown up, I notice that the racism of past generations has faded significantly in ours, even if it hasn't completely abated. A few years ago, a racist barbecuer in South Carolina was whining that a grocery chain has pulled his products out of their stores over comments he had made regarding African-Americans. Offended Neo-Confederates decided to protest this by staging protests in from of the grocery chain's stores. During the protests, my youngest brother and I drove by one of the protests, and my brother promptly stuck his hand out the window to let the protesters know they were number one. Maybe I'm off by a finger on that one, but childish as it was, I have to admit I felt good seeing that middle digit flying from our Mazda RX-7, when I think of what I had done some 27 years earlier.

Sadly, not evryone my my generation of my family shares such a progressive view. I have a cousin who is a virulent racist. She happens to be the daighter of the "lovely" anti-Mexican aunt described above. I haven't spoken to her in years, but last I heard, she had developed an anti-Black streak that rivals my late grandfather. Somehow, I don't feel as if I'm missing much by not seeing/talking to her.

As for me, I'm married and a father now. My son goes to a day care center that has a nice mixture of children from all different backgrounds. Although he's barely out of babyhood, I'm already trying to impress on him the importance of looking at people as being people first, without regard to their skin color, religion, nationality, etc. If I can do that, and help end racism that way, even if it is in my own family, I think I will have accomplished something.

Love one another.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

You know you want to.


Kneel before Zod!
Originally uploaded by clintster.
As assistant ruler of the Planet Houston, I command you to.

Or at least you could visit his website. http://www.generalzod.net/

Have a good Wednesday!

Catching up to do...

OK, so my birthday was this past weekend, and it was my 39th. AAAAGGGHHHH!!!! It was not the best b-day I've ever had, but it wasn't the worst. In any event, I'm starting to make plans for Big 4-0, which hopefully will include as many of my friends as possible meeting me in our new abode in Atlanta.

I was watching the news this monring and there was a story about Jennifer "The Runaway Bride" Wilbanks mowing a yard as part of her community service. I'm guessing the rest of her service will consist of giving at least one "exclusive interview" to Entertainment Tonight, Inside Edition, Larry King, Dr. Phil and/or Katie Couric per month for the next five years. Yeesh! Leave the poor woman alone already!

Friday, July 1, 2005

Gollum Putin


Gollum Putin
Originally uploaded by clintster.
I read about this story and when I saw the photo of Pres. Putin with his newly-acquired bauble, all I could think of was...

"My Preciousssssss!"

Story:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/06/29/putin.ring.ap/

Sandra Day-Oy Vey!

I guess you've heard by now that Sandra Day O'Conner is retiring from the Supreme Court. For 4 1/2 years, I've been dreading this moment because of the opportunity it gives Dubya to leave his impression on the Court for years, even decades, to come.

Regardless, it looks like it's gonna be a looooong summer.

Somehow this song seemed appropriate with the announcement, and with Independence Day coming up. Just stick with me, people. It's the best way we can get to 2009.

---------------------------------------

they caught the last poor man
on a poor man's vacation
they cuffed him and confiscated his stuff
they dragged his black ass down to the station
and said, ok, the streets are safe now
all your pretty white children can come out and see spot run
and they came out of their houses
and they looked around
but they didn't see no one

my country 'tis of thee
to take swings at each other on the talkshow tv
why don't you just go ahead and turn off the sun
cuz we'll never live long enough
to undo everything they've done to you
undo everything they've done to you

above 96th street
they're handing out smallpox blankets so people don't freeze
the old dogs have got a new trick
it's called criminalize the symptoms
while you spread the disease
and i hold on hard to something
between my teeth when i'm sleeping
i wake up and my jaw aches
and the earth is full of earthquakes

my country 'tis of thee
to take swings at each other on the talkshow tv
why don't you just go ahead and turn off the sun
cuz we'll never live long enough
to undo everything they've done to you
undo everything they've done to you

they caught the last poor man
flying away in a shiny red cape
they took him down to the station
and they said, boy, you should've known better
than to try to escape
i ran away with the circus
cuz there's still some honest work left for bearded ladies
since they put everyone in jail
exceot the cleavers and the brady's

my country 'tis of thee
to take swings at each other on the talkshow tv
why don't you just go ahead and turn off the sun
cuz we'll never live long enough
to undo everything they've done to you
undo everything they've done to you

Friday, June 10, 2005

Friday Catblogging


Katie the Kat
Originally uploaded by clintster.
Yes, I'm following a trend here. So what?

Sorry, didn't mean to sound hostile there. Anyway, look at that cat. Seriously, how cute is she?

Thursday, June 9, 2005

Handfuls of cookie


birthday3
Originally uploaded by clintster.
He's got a dino cookie in one hand, and an airplane (I think) in the other; ladies and gentlemen I give to you...

Da Cookie Monster!!!

Yeahhhhh!!!


birthday2
Originally uploaded by clintster.
This is my favorite photo from Ian's birthday party yesterday. Just looking at this pic, I know my boy is gonna be a handful in a year or two!

Waitaminit, he's already a handful now. What's he gonna be like when he's two or three? YOIKS!

Wednesday, June 8, 2005

Happy Birthday, Bunnyman!!!


Ian at 1
Originally uploaded by clintster.
My baby boy Ian is one year old today! YAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!! Anyway, I'll post some pics from his first birthday party later. In the meantime, I hope you like this tasty little collage of pics from his first year.

Oh, and how do you like the new look to the blog? Comments, pleeease. ;)

Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Sooooo, I'll inherit the earth?




>






Your Geek Profile:



Fashion Geekiness: Highest

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Movie Geekiness: High

Music Geekiness: High

Gamer Geekiness: Moderate

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Internet Geekiness: Moderate

SciFi Geekiness: Moderate

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Joining the Jihad!

As we saw the new pope elected, I came to a decision. Therefore I now declare myself to be part of the Unitarian Jihad.

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Sibling Shotgun of Patience.


Get yours.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Second Verse, Same as the First!

The next Blog Meme, ‘til I get back on my feet.

{{Current Events}}

Name three unique sounds you hear everyday.
My son cooing and laughing, my work computer chiming the hours in organ-like tones, and our furnace lighting up to send heat through the house.

You get out of bed in the morning. What’s the very first thing you do?
First I walk to the bathroom and pee. As I get older, I have discovered this gets more important.

What was the last meal you ate?
Pinto beans, fried potatoes and cornbread. The “Po’ Man’s Special”!

What’s the latest album in your collection?
Vinyl? I’d have to say it was a copy of U2’s The Joshua Tree. My last CD purchase was The Cure’s Mixed Up.

What were you doing exactly 10 minutes ago?
Cleaning the kitchen, and checking the cats’ food to make sure they weren’t starving.

After you finish this survey, what will you do?
I hope I’ll go to bed. If not, I’ll probably stay up and read some Hunter S. Thompson.

{{Gen Ed}}

What’s your favorite pun?
It’s a long joke (and if you know me, you’re saying to yourself “That figures”) that ends with the punchline “Don’t hatchet your count before he chickens.”

What is the absolute maddest you have ever been?
It would have to be when I found out the first woman I really fell for in college was dating the out-of-town director whose show I was in. A bit petty and childish, looking back, but it got a lot off my chest.

What’s the most common thing someone says to you when you tell them your major/what you do for a living? What’s the weirdest thing anyone’s ever said?
The most common response is “Sooo, have you gone to Hollywood/New York yet?” I can’t think of the weirdest thing regarding my career choice; However, I can thing of hundreds of weird things people said to me at theatre parties.

What’s the one food that people claim to love and, for the life of you, you can’t understand why?
For me, it’s mayonnaise. White gooshy stuff that comes in a jar, or worse yet, a SQUEEZE bottle. *douche chills*

What’s the shittiest thing an ex-lover has ever said to you? An EX-lover? Well, considering I never really had a lover until Kathy, I can’t exactly speak to that. However, I CAN relate the parting words of one former crush I had: “Call me when you have something interesting to say.”

What do you do to take the edge off a really crappy day?
Kiss the boy, hug the wife, pet the cat.

Forget all that bullshit about living without regret. What’s the one thing you’ve done that you really would take back if you could?
I regret not going to UNC when I was 13 years old. I decided that I wanted to stay with my age peers in order to be “normal”. And see how I turned out?

Which cancelled TV show would you most like to see reinstated?
MST3K, no question. I miss Saturdays with Joel/Mike and the ‘bots.

What’s the most fun thing to do on a leather couch?
I like to rub my hand on them and make farty sounds. Then I blame it on the dog.

{{What if…}}

You can make one item of clothing illegal. What would you ban?
Culottes! You’re either shorts or a skirt. Make up your freakin’ MIIIIINNNNND!!!!

You’re trapped in a horror movie. Which one is it and why?
Alien, and I’d probably be John Hurt.

You happen upon two people gettin’ busy in public. Do you avert your eyes or enjoy the show? I’d probably pick up a newspaper and pretend to read it, stealing a look once in a while to see the “disgusting” PDA”.

You’re a circus performer. What kind?
In a circus, I’d probably be one of the clowns. In a carnival, I’d be one of the freaky-deaky ride operators.

You can be a guest on any TV show. Which one and why?
The Daily Show, no question. Because I could stand talking at least seven minutes with John Stewart. And hanging with Helms, Corddry, Bee, Black, and Colbert—I mean Ted Hitler.

You’re a professional wrestler. Pick your entrance music.
"War Ensemble" by Slayer.

You have thirty seconds to live. What do you do?
Soil myself. Find a toilet. Wipe myself just in time to hear the asteroid impact, and utter the same words that so many others in the world will utter that last second: “Aww, shi…”

{{Expand on that}}

Please name the one thing members of your gender do that makes you want to get a sex change.
I have seen so many men treat their women like absolute crap that it makes me want to become a woman, just so I could become a lesbian.

Describe the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger.
Once, when my college theatre group was having its annual awards banquet at a local watering hole, a man wandered into the ceremony as I was making a presentation. He began thanking me for what I did, and telling us all how he had served in the Army, and blablablablabla, and ended his cameo by kissing me and saying “I love you, man.” Then he just walks away.

Share your thoughts on Valentine’s Day.
It was always sucky for my until 2002, my first one with Kathy.

Explain why every commercial in central Illinois has to have a jingle.
People v. Dumbass Jingle Writers, Illinois Supreme Court, 4/20/69

Follow-up: Write a jingle to advertise your Xanga site.
Go to Clint’s/
Xanga site/
it could update/
in the next fortnight. (don’t hold your breaaaaaaaaath)

For those of us that like poetry, try to persuade the non-poetry lovers why it’s great. You non-poetry lovers, persuade us to put down those volumes of verse.
As a lover of poetry, I have to assent to Ombra that it can get you laid. My first sexual experience actually came about because of a poem.

{{Either/Or}}

Brandon or Dylan:
Brandon. He’s just so cuddly! Hee-hee-hee.

Zappa or Beefheart?
Are you kidding? Zappa!!!

Most annoying voice: Gilbert Gottfried or Fran Drescher?
Drescher, by a mile. Although to her credit, she’s never lent her voice to that of an insurance-hawking duck.

With cereal: Lots of milk or just a little?
Enough to come within eyesight through the cereal, and then it’s Breakfast Time!!

Go to the opera or listen to all six discs of the Loggins & Messina anthology?
Opera. I’ve gained such an appreciation for it since I met Kathy. Living with a soprano-in-training will do that to you.

Billie Holiday or Janis Joplin?
I won’t choose, out of deferences to two of the most heart-wrenching voices of the previous century.

Ice cream: cone or cup?
Cone. Waffle cone. Chocolate-coated waffle cone!

Who’s funnier: Conan O’Brien or Jon Stewart?
Aiiieeee! Must I make a choice? All right, I pick Stewart, by a whisper of a margin.

{{Body parts}}

Which one is longer: your big toe or your second toe?
My second toe is longer, but my big toe could probably kick its metaphorical ass.

If someone asked you to do a “stupid human trick” (Like on David Letterman, for those that watch it. They’re weird bodily talents, for those that don’t know), what would you do?
I’d bend my index finger into a position that makes it look like it’s broken.

Which finger do you think is the most dispensable? Pinky. I say let’s genetically engineer that sucker out of the gene pool and become Simpsonic in the 22nd Century.

Please list any injuries you have sustained during sex/sexual acts.
*WARNING! TMI alert forthcoming!*
Well, it actually happened right after sex, but I think it’ll still count. I was still, umm, excited, but I had to take a wicked piss. I went to the toilet, began my elimination round, when all of a sudden BAM! I sprained my weenie.

What normal bodily function do you find most interesting?
The sneeze. It can be delicate, brutal, life-affirming and deadly; sometimes all at once.

Which activity could you go without for the longest: showering, brushing your teeth, or shaving?
Shaving, definitely. Although I should probably do it a bit more often.
.
{{That’s all folks}}

In the movie about your life, what song is playing during the credits?
“Stand” by REM. Yeah, I know I’m ripping it off from Chris Elliott’s “Get a Life” series (remember that?), but I like it. Bleh!

What’s one song you want played at your funeral?
“The Humpty Dance” by Digital Underground.

What’s the last sentence in your favorite book?
”Okay, baby, hold tight,” said Zaphod. “We’ll take in a quick bite at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.”

List three items you would have buried with you when you die.
My wedding ring, a photo of my family, and my Bill the Cat doll.

What would your epitaph say?
“Hey, back off buddy! This seat is taken!”

Who would you most like to haunt as a ghost? I'd like to haint paris Hilton and drive her into a convent for the rest of her life.

{{Brownie points}}

If you were going to dedicate a love song to The Sibyl, which one would it be and why?
Yikers! I think I would have to sing “Sorry I Am” by Ani DiFranco. I don’t know The_Sibyl, but that’s just such a beautiful, melancholy, and open song.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Pinky and the Brain Brain Brain Brain Braaaaain!

Wow! it's been a while, eh? A bit too long for my liking, but oh well. Anyway, much has happened in the past few months since I blogged last; for a partial list of these occurences, please see my wifey's blog.

In any event, I thought I'd take it easy by starting with a meme. Another one will follow sometime this weekend. Enjoy, y'all!

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Courtesy Ombra

1. Total amount of music files on your computer?

I looked, and I have about 3 gigs worth here on my work computer.

2. The last CD you bought was...

Yoiks! For myself? I think it was a live Pearl Jam CD set.

3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?

I believe it was "The Blood", by The Cure.

4. Write down five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.

1. "Midnight Radio", from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Inspirational as all Hell, and rocks to boot.

2. "Paranoid Android" by Radiohead. I like the dynamic changes to the song.

3. "Temptation" by Tom Waits. Significant in that Kathy sang it for a cabaret at Horn the summer we met, and accompanied herself on ukelele. I knew then and there that I had to be with this woman.

4. "Country Feedback" by R.E.M. I heard them perform this in concert ten years ago, and believed then that it was their greatest song ever. In fact, I still do.

5. "Purple Rain" by Prince. For private reasons.

5. What 3 people are you going to pass this baton to and why?

I hope Kathy will pick it up. After that, I dunno.