Friday, August 8, 2003

California Über Alles

The birthday was okay, being a prime number and all. I got my first "Husband" birthday card, which caused me to cry. If you're married, hopefully you understand.

It looks like the race to become governor of California should the voters recall Gray Davis (a strong possibility) is going to be a wild one. Over 300 people have nominating papers, and if only 10 percent of them actually file, the ballot'll be more confusing than stereo instructions. Among the currently viable candidates are:

*Larry Flynt, the publisher of Hustler magazine, and the candiidate running as "The smut-peddler who cares." He also recently organized a "Day of Prayer" to ask God for the death of Bill O'Reilly. Apparently it worked about as well as Pat Robertson's Operation Kill-the-liberal-justices-oops-I-mean-Operation-Supreme-Court-Freedom-yeah-that's-the-ticket!

*Gary Coleman, the former child star and occasional guest on "Where are they Now?" specials. You know this candidacy can only work if he brings in Danny Bonaduce as a running mate.

*Gallagher, the infamous murderer of thousands of innocent watermelons, and prop comic who paved the way for Carrot Top. This alone should be reason enough to not vote for him.

Other candidates with far less visibility, but no less entertainment value, can be found listed in this report. Gubernatorial thongs; why didn't I think of that?
Finally, this one's for O especially. They're baaack!

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