I have to share this story from this weekend, but first, in case you didn't know, I have a phone interview with a software company tomorrow morning Wish me luck, and pray that I can get out of the newspaper business before it does me in. Anyway... Yesterday, Da Kat, Li'l Ian and I went to Harrisonburg to look at modular homes and scope out some land a Realtor had told Kathy about. The first part of it was pretty cool, although the prices that we had heard were so low start to add up once they decide to add on A/C ductwork, basement, etc. Still and all, we have a better idea of what we want in a house and land, and what we DON'T want. Which brings me to the land looksee. Kathy had called a Realtor about finding a decent size lot where we could put a modular home. The Realtor suggested a place about 10 miles outside H'burg that she said would be nice because "there's a lot of other people with modulars out that way." However, she couldn't get away to show us the property, so she gave us directions. After lunch, we set out for the lot, which was located near a town called Singer's Glen. After driving about 15 miles (not 10), we decided to stop at a little country store in Singer's Glen to make sure our directions were right. It turns out they were mostly right, but somehow we were missing a few key turnoffs to get to the property. The store clerk's wife set me straight and, as I was walking out the door, she wished me "good luck". I assumed she meant that in a navigational sense. Boy, was I ever wrong. After following her directions, we got to Mayberry Drive. Sounds nice, doesn't it? Well, it was except for the fact that there was a free-range chicken farm on the road. And by "free-range", I mean that there were chickens all over the friggin' road! There were also a multitude of empty bread wrappers blowing through the chickens' de facto coop/shelter yard, and across the road. It reminded me of this guy who lived near me when I lived in North Carolina, only instead of 5-6 chickens running loose, this guy in VA had about 30 at the moment. Once we cleared that hurdle, it was onto the next task; finding the turnoff road. We went one way, and all we saw were a couple of guys working on their cars, and some pretty wormy looking kids walking down the road with no particular aim or purpose. We got to the end of the road and turned around, hoping it would be at the other end. As we came back, we noticed one of the kids walking a rather sizable pit bull. I slowed down to let the kid move to one side or the other, but he just kept walking towards us. I thought, "OK, I realize this is a little bitty Prius, and I have some hippy-dippy stickers on the back of it, but if you don't move, you and your big dog are gonna get a hurtin'!" Finally, the kid moved, but he shot me a look like I was twice as old as I am. We kept going and finally reached the other end of Mayberry, and our destination: Copperhead Road. Now, I should have realized that a road named for a song about moonshiners/pot growers who make lawmen "disappear" might not be the best road in the world, but we had come that far, and by God, we were a-gonna see this friggin' lot if it killed us! We should have turned around at the sign, but we didn't. We should have turned around when we saw the steep grade of the narrow dirt road, but we didn't. We should have turned around when we saw the trailer covered over with plywood and a crudely-lettered sign saying "All we are saying... give Jesus a chance", but... we didn't. We thought about that one, but we didn't turn or back out. We kept going another 50 yards, and then it happened. A HUGE dog lunged out at us, and snapped its jaws at my driver's side window. It made us jump, but we recovered when we saw that Redneck Cujo was chained to his doghouse. Then I noticed something else lying beside the doghouse. I nudged Kathy and said "hey, look over there." At that moment, our jaws dropped when we realized what it was. What we first thought was another large dog sacked out on the ground beside the Attack Dog From Hell's clapboard kennel was in fact a full deer carcass. It was at that moment that Kathy and I looked at each other, mouths agape, and said to one another "Aw, Hell no!!!" I put the car in reverse and we headed back to Harrisonburg as best we could. We were laughing all the way back over this, especially after I came up with my three theories of how the deer had ended up a tasty snack for Damien II: Electric Boogaloo. They are as follows: The owner found the deer as roadkill and decided it was cheaper than buying a 50-lb. bag of dog food. The owner shot the deer on a hunting trip and decided "Hell, I'll give it to Dolchstoss Jr. He'll eat it up!" That dog was the meanest sumbitch ever put on God's Green Earth BTW, we think that when Kathy told the agent that we were looking to put up a modular, she thought we meant "trailer". We looked, and along Mayberry/Copperhead Road, it was wall-to-wall trailers, and not one true modular home. Craziness.

Just that kind of week

Just call it diarrhea, cause it's been the... well, you get the picture. I'll just give you some lyrics from Ani DiFranco, to give you my mindset at the moment:

Every State Line

Got pulled over in west Texas
So they could look inside my car
He said are you an American citizen
I said "Yes sir,
So far."
They made sure I wasnt smuggling
Someone in from Mexico
Someone willing to settle for America
'cause theres nowhere else to go

I broke down in Louisiana
And I had to thumb a ride
Got in the first car that pulled over
You can't be picky in the middle of the night
He said "Baby, do you like to fool around
Baby, do you like to be touched?"
I said "Maybe some other time
Fuck you very much"

I'm in the middle of Alabama
They stare at me where ever I go
I dont think they like my haircut
I dont think they like my clothes
I cant wait to get back to New York City
Where at least when I walk down the street
Nobody ever hesitates
To tell me exactly what they think of

A little town in Pennsylvania
There was snow on the ground
I was parked in an empty lot
Where there was no one else around
But I guess I was taking up too much space
As I was trying to get some sleep
'cause an officer came by anyway
And told me I had to leave

And every state line
Theres a new set of laws
And every police man
Comes equipped with extended claws
Theres a thousand shades of white
And a thousand shades of black
But the same rule always applies
Smile pretty, and watch your back

Shuffle Off To iPod-land

Fifteen songs, all on my iPod:

1) Erotic City-Prince
2) A Girl Like You-Edwyn Collins
3) Get Off Of My Cloud-The Rolling Stones
4) Riviera Paradise-Stevie Ray Vaughan
5) Take It To The Limit-The Eagles
6) Nobody Told Me-John Lennon
7) Indifference-Pearl Jam
8) The Long Grift-They Might Be Giants
9) Love Song-Tesla
10) Tear Me Down-Spoon
11) Rid Of Me-PJ Harvey
12) Interstate love Song-Stone Temple Pilots
13) Don't Cry (Alternative Lyrics)-Guns N' Roses
14) Animal-Pearl Jam
15) St. Cecilia Mass: Credo-Gounod

Clintster -- Now 87.5% Pain Free

Recovery continues apace. Mom went home today, so much of my day was spent puttering around the house, watching MST3K ("Tormented"), and harvesting marigold seeds from the dead plants in our garden. Hopefully we shall be planting those seeds in the next few weeks.

I'm not sure what to say about the Oscars, except that I won the family betting pool and found myself one Cadbury bar richer for it. Yeees, we McGuires know how to live la vida loca. I was quite glad to see Jennifer Hudson, Martin Scorsese and Forrest Whittaker win Oscars, and seeing the very short clip of West Bank Story made me want to see it. Unfortunately, we just don't have that kind of cinema here in The Lex.

I've always thought that it would be a great idea if the Academy got the nominated short films (features, animated, docs) and put them all into a compendium for sale to the general public. I'd definitely shell out $20 American for a DVD of this year's nominees. Does anyone know where I could get something like that, or at least see the short film nominees online? Lemme know.

Gettin' Better All The Time

Sorry I haven't been posting updates the past couple of days, but... well, it's been a rough couple of days.

Things were going well when I posted Thursday morning, and then PPHHHHBBBBTTT!!!

WARNING! The following couple of paragraphs should not be read if you have a weak constitution. If you think it's gonna bug you, skip ahead to the next red text you see. Just sayin'.

That afternoon, I began feeling very headache-y and nauseous. I had dinner and then promptly brought it back up. I thought it was the antibiotic I was taking, but oh how wrong I was!

That night I was vomiting about every two hours. I also noticed that it seemed to happen not long after I gave my nose a saline bath. Kathy called my ENT and he suggested laying off the saline and codeine for a couple of days, which I did. Thursday night, I was in AGONY! I couldn't sleep, I was drinking a bottle of water an hour to keep hydrated and promptly chucking it every two hours. Also, my nostrils had become completely blocked up and I couldn't breathe through my nose at all. Not a good night

The next day, my mom took me to the ENT and he checked me over. I told him what was going on, and he advised me to spend the weekend at home, resting comfortably. The doc determined that it was the bits of blood and tissue coming out of my sinus cavity that was making me so ill. He also evacuated my nostrils (most expensive nose pickin' EVER), and sent me home with his cell number in case I had any more trouble. On the way home, I threw up in my mom's car. I've only done that one other time in my life (sorry, Brian).

Friday was a great big restless sleep cycle for me. I caught naps when I could, drank plenty of water, and watched "Star Trek" in between. I still had a few vomitous episodes that night, but nothing like Thursday.

Here endeth the grossness

Saturday was a bit better. Although my head was constantly aching, my stomach was less upset. I finally managed to hold down a meal for the first time since Wednesday, and last night I got a relatively restful night's sleep. We'll see how today goes; although I feel better than I did, I'm still not 100%.

Post-Op, or "I'm Still Alive"

Well, it's been a day since I regained consciousness from the septoplasty, and aside from the swelling, the stuffed up nose, a bit of pain that can't be masked by codeine, and a strict order to sleep propped up, I'm pretty good.

We went in about 7:30 yesterday morning, and I had to have some blood drawn to start off. After I got my gown and cap on (pic to follow), I went into OR and they gave me anesthesia. I was listening to a baby screaming a couple of beds down from me (I think she was having tubes put in), and suddenly I dropped off.

Apparently it took over two hours for the doc to work on my septum; it was that bad, he told Kathy and my mom (who came up for the op). After I woke up, I had some lunch (my first food or drink since the previous night; man, meat loaf never tasted so good!) and after letting the anesthetic wear off a while longer, I was discharged and came back home.

I'm having to haul around a bunch of gauze and tape to put under my nose in case of nosebleeds. When I have it on, I look kinda like Earl when he worked at the fast food restaurant, and he was made to wear a hair net for his mustache. I'm woozy from the drugs, but I'm feeling relatively strong. Hopefully, I'll be back to work in a few days.

Thanks for all the well-wishes, good thoughts and prayers. I could feel it as I was going under.

Randomities

Yep, it's one of those days...

• Do I really need to say anything about Britney Spears' follicle follies? Why yes... yes I do. After a week of seeing every two-bit hustler line up to claim to be the baby-daddy of Anna Nicole Smith's semi-orphaned child (Gah, you know this is gonna end up on "Maury" eventually), it was nice to get this little diversion. I'd be a little happier if Britney were aiming to go off on a "Ani DiFranco/Sinead O'Conner vibe" for her career, but it seems more like she's hoppin' the crazy train for the Chateau Marmont and looking for the John Belushi Memorial Suite.
• Speaking of ingenues heading down a one-way road, I finally watched "Mean Girls" last night, and I have to say Lindsay Lohan was pretty good in it. She might even be able to develop into a first-rate actress if she can ever conquer her demons. The scene where she drinks herself into vomitory bliss was more than a wee bit ironic, given her current situation.
• T-two days until my septoplasty, and I'm feeling a bit nervous. I know it's a fairly common procedure, but I am still nervous about being anesthetized and having someone mess with my honker.
• The Endor Holocaust. Discuss.

Everybody have fun tonight.

Finishing Up the Week With a Few Things

So I'm a day late on this. Meh...

• Our power problems continued Thursday evening, when I came home for lunch and the lights were out again. I picked up Ian that night and went to Kathy's office in anticipation of the three of us "camping out" that night. Kathy called about 7 to tell me that the lights were back on, and I went to pick up a pizza in celebration. On our way home, Kat called me AGAIN to tell me the lights had gone out again! Went back to the pizza parlor, Kathy joined me and Ian to eat the pizza, and then we headed back to get the supplies we knew we'd need for the night, only to find that the lights were on AGAIN!!! At that point, we said "fark it", and stayed home. Luckily the lights stayed on.
• Y'know, the word "again" looks a little weird. Don't know why; the thought just struck me.
• I spent much of Thursday afternoon and Friday morning cataloging my blog posts into categories. I noticed that so far, the most popular category for my postings is "Meme". I gotta stop taking so many online quizzes.
• Britney Spears shaved her head last night. Now, I'd like to chalk this up to trying to establish some indie cred for her music comeback, but given that she just went through the Lindsey Lohan Revolving Rehab Door, methinks Ms. Fed-Ex is on her way to a stay at a somewhat more stringent institution.
  

Just Another Shuffle Through Friday

1) Desperado-The Eagles
2) Yuri-G-PJ Harvey
3) Outta Me Onto You-Ani DiFranco
4) Professor Nutbutter's House of Treats-Primus
5) Electric Eye-Judas Priest
6) Heartache Tonight-The Eagles
7) Numb-U2
8) Wicked Little Town-The Breeders
9) Evenflow-Pearl Jam (live, Saskatoon 2006)
10) Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love-Van Halen
11) Ghostbusters-Ray Parker
12) Godzilla-Blue Oyster Cult
13) Help!-The Beatles (Love version)
14) Hot Hot Hot!!! (extended mix)-The Cure
15) Tumbling Dice-The Rolling Stones

Well. The Beatles return to the shuffle list after a hiatus. And for some reason, The Eagles come up twice! O, #8 is from the "Wig In A Box" tribute album.

I have stories to tell of last night, but I'll wait until this afternoon to regale them. In the meantime, have fun.

Spiffing up the Jernt

OK, I gave in and went whole hog on the new Blogger designs. You like?

I'll be gradually adding back all my old blogs from the blogroll, and adding new features as I feel like it, so sit back and enjoy CS-CL 2.0.

Where's Daniel Powter When You Need Him?

Not that I really want him around me; I just have that friggin' "Had a Bad Day" song running through my head this evening, and I want to "thank" him upside HIS head for putting it in there.

It started around 3AM. We had an ice storm move through our area, and thanks to a combination of ice buildup and reckless drivers, power was knocked out through most of the rural parts of our county, including my house. By the time we woke up this morning , the temperature inside the house was 60°.

As a result, Ian's daycare was closed, so Kathy took him with her to work, since I had deadlines to meet on our weekend paper. I got to work, and realized that several of the ladies in our office had brought their kids into work, because their schools were closed for the day. They set up shop in our layout room and watched movies for the better part of the day.

When it came time to deal with the Weekender, I did not go into the layout room, opting instead to check pages in the advertising department. Around 2:30, I got the last page from the print shop across the street, and sent it on its way. A little while later, the kids went home with their respective moms.

A little after 4pm, when most everyone had gone home, I was walking around the office, and by the layout room, when I noticed a light was on. I looked inside, and my light table had been left on. There was a negative on the table. When I went over to look at it, I discovered to my horror, that it was a negative for the Weekender.

I went into a panic and looked for anyone who could tell me what that negative was doing there. I figured a) someone had taken the negative out to inspect it and neglected to return it to the stack, or b) there had been a change made to that page, and no one had bothered to tell me about it.

I discovered it was in fact the latter, and I ended up having to take it to our printers to make sure the correct page made it into the Weekender. Unfortunately, the presses are in a town about 40 miles west of here, and Kathy had to use the car to get to her teaching gig, so I had to bundle the boy in the van with me, and drive all the way to Covington to deliver one freakin' negative.

Needless to say, I was pretty damn exhausted by the time Ian and I made it home. Luckily, the power had been restored to our home by the time we got there. This wasn't the worst Valentine's Day I've ever had. It wasn't good, but definitely not the worst. That VD was still 1989, when I had my heart ripped out and ground to a pulp before my very eyes. I'm not bitter, though. Nope. Not a bit. Nuh-uh. No way. Zero bitterness here.

Saturday Night's Alright for Bloggin'

What's been going on in my life? Glad you asked...

I'm going to finally get my operation to correct my deviated septum. A little more than a week from now, I'll go into the hospital and have the nose corrected that has been giving my endless trouble for the past couple of decades, at least. From all indications, it'll be a week of hellish recovery, followed by sweet, sweet nasal bliss. I'm just hoping it leads to a much softer snore and a healthier me.

I traveled over to help out another paper this week. They were having problems getting their photos to come out well, or at least as well as ours. I helped out as much as I could technically, but I think the problems may stem from something a bit deeper than that. I'm not saying my work environment is perfect, but I definitely sensed a bit of tension and ill will in their workplace, and it wasn't necessarily just cause I was there.

Meanwhile, I've been battling a cold for the past week, and as a result, my exercise program has gone south a bit. I'm hoping to resume Monday, but I don't know what shape I'll be in for the 5k in March. We'll see. We'll see.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Do The iPod Shuffle

'Cause it's Friday (finally):

1) Wayfaring Stranger-Johnny Cash
2) Jump (For My Love)-Pointer Sisters
3) Let Love Rule-Lenny Kravitz
4) Calling All Nations-INXS
5) Tear Me Down-Hedwig and the Angry Inch
6) Velvet Goldmine-David Bowie
7) When The Music's Over-The Doors
8) Hold On Tight-ELO
9) San Diego Serenade-Tom Waits
10) Eruption-Van Halen
11) Small Town-John Mellencamp
12) Science-System Of A Down
13) The Needle Lies-Queensrÿche
14) Angry Inch-Hedwig and the Angry Inch
15) Baby Come Back-Player

Hmmm... no Beatles, I mean absolutely NO Beatles!!! Man, I don't know what happened there. However, I did get two Hedwig songs, and some K-Tel pop in there (don't judge me). Let's see if I can motivate myself into blogging about my life this week.

Another Freedom-Hating LED Terrorist

I am Frylock from Aqua Teen Hunger Force!!

Which Aqua Teen Hunger Force character are you??

You'd Prefer An Astronaut?

Oh. My. God!

Astronaut Arrested On Attempted Kidnapping, Battery Charges

You know, when I was a kid, I used to dream of being an astronaut. I wanted to go into space and contribute to the advancement of mankind. I wanted to wear a spacesuit and step outside my craft for an EVA. To me, men and women like Glenn, Armstrong, Young and Ride weren't just people, they were wonky role models who could do no wrong.

Of course, I've become a bit more jaded as the years have gone by, but for some reason I never really applied the same criteria to the US astronaut corps. When I saw this story pop up on the news this morning, though, it made me think a little bit about the classification of people into good and bad, based on ridiculous criteria like race, religion, national origin, or even profession.

I guess it just goes to show that even an astronaut can go crazy if the circumstances warrant it. Good thing this little show didn't blow up in orbit, eh?