No, I don't really have the "baby blues", but I couldn't think of a better title.
OK, I'm gonna try to maintain this blog a little more regularly than I have in the past. We'll see if I can't keep things going here.
I have to say off the bat that Ian has definitely changed my life (and Kathy's as well). When I go to work in the morning, I can't leave without picking him up and giving him a big hug. The look in his eyes when I feed him makes me feel so grand, and yet so small at the same time. I can't imagine how I ever got through this life without Ian.
In other aspects of my life, I'm feeling really confident about John Kerry and John Edwards' chances in the election this November. The part of Virginia we're living in is a pretty conservative area, and yet when I ride through town I see so many Kerry bumper stickers on cars, and so few for Bush/Cheney. Maybe it's not the most accurate indicator of people's feelings on the election, but I think it's pretty damn significant.
That's all for the moment. More later on this CBS station.
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Wednesday, June 9, 2004
Presenting...
Ian Thomas McGuire, in his world premiere
Weighs in at 6 lb. 14 oz.
Stands (okay, LAYS) at 22 in.
Born June 8, 2004 at 10:57 pm
Proud papa: Clint McGuire
Exhausted (after 16 hrs. of labor, can you blame her?)
mama: Kathy McGuire
Photos and stories to come!!!
Weighs in at 6 lb. 14 oz.
Stands (okay, LAYS) at 22 in.
Born June 8, 2004 at 10:57 pm
Proud papa: Clint McGuire
Exhausted (after 16 hrs. of labor, can you blame her?)
mama: Kathy McGuire
Photos and stories to come!!!
Monday, May 31, 2004
Falling Down
I know that it's been a while, but between the impending blessed event and dealing with family issues, I haven't really felt inspired to blog much.
So much to write about, but I'll just kinda touch the stones and let you figure out where they lay:
*Dad, I know you're not reading this, but I just wanted to let you know I loved you once and may find it in my heart to love you again. At this moment, however, I just hope you get what you deserve.
*"War is all Hell", or so William Sherman once said. If this administration becomes remembered for anything, it will most likely be for the can of worms it opened up in the Fertile Crescent.
*I miss my friends. I miss the late nights, the trips to Waffle House, the inebriated dancing, the sober philosophy; I miss it all.
*Dammitaltahell, Jennifer or LaToya should have won. I'm glad for Fantasia, though.
*I find myself occasionally thinking of the Big Talks I will be having with Ian in the next two decades, and what it is I'll say to him. Other times, I try to think back to imagine what my parents were going through as I was about to make my debut in the world.
*The highway is alive tonight
But nobody's kiddin' nobody about where it goes
I'm sittin' down here in the campfire light
Searchin' for the ghost of Tom Joad
So much to write about, but I'll just kinda touch the stones and let you figure out where they lay:
*Dad, I know you're not reading this, but I just wanted to let you know I loved you once and may find it in my heart to love you again. At this moment, however, I just hope you get what you deserve.
*"War is all Hell", or so William Sherman once said. If this administration becomes remembered for anything, it will most likely be for the can of worms it opened up in the Fertile Crescent.
*I miss my friends. I miss the late nights, the trips to Waffle House, the inebriated dancing, the sober philosophy; I miss it all.
*Dammitaltahell, Jennifer or LaToya should have won. I'm glad for Fantasia, though.
*I find myself occasionally thinking of the Big Talks I will be having with Ian in the next two decades, and what it is I'll say to him. Other times, I try to think back to imagine what my parents were going through as I was about to make my debut in the world.
*The highway is alive tonight
But nobody's kiddin' nobody about where it goes
I'm sittin' down here in the campfire light
Searchin' for the ghost of Tom Joad
Monday, May 10, 2004
Rock n Roll McDonald's!! Rock n Roll McDonalds!!!
I just noticed this morning that Blogger has done some interface improvements. Goody-goody-gumdrops! Well, lemme give you a Clintster update and see how this thang works, 'kay?
So, things are continuing to develop with our pregnancy. Kathy's hormones have kicked in and I've been trying to keep up with her moods and encourage her when she feels down and tired. I finally got the baby's stroller put together, so there's one more thing off the list.
It looks as if I will have to cut down the number of visits I make to my therapist. I've been going every week, but with our financial worries, I've decided to make it every other week. Another factor in my decision is the fact that I feel better as I've been going through therapy, and I actually felt myself struggling to find something to talk about at my last session.
Oh, and by the way... Wesley Willis whips Batman's, Superman's, and Saddam Hussein's ass! Believe that!
So, things are continuing to develop with our pregnancy. Kathy's hormones have kicked in and I've been trying to keep up with her moods and encourage her when she feels down and tired. I finally got the baby's stroller put together, so there's one more thing off the list.
It looks as if I will have to cut down the number of visits I make to my therapist. I've been going every week, but with our financial worries, I've decided to make it every other week. Another factor in my decision is the fact that I feel better as I've been going through therapy, and I actually felt myself struggling to find something to talk about at my last session.
Oh, and by the way... Wesley Willis whips Batman's, Superman's, and Saddam Hussein's ass! Believe that!
Friday, April 30, 2004
Mars, bitches!
Sorry, I've been watching Chappelle's Show a lot lately.
OK, long delayed update: things are relatively quieted down on the bad-news front. I'm taking Zoloft and feeling better, but I still wish things were different.
The baby is developing quite nicely, and has even developed a case of the hiccups (see The Married Life for details). I'll write more later on stuff, but for right now, consider this a friendly wave to the blogosphere. :)
OK, long delayed update: things are relatively quieted down on the bad-news front. I'm taking Zoloft and feeling better, but I still wish things were different.
The baby is developing quite nicely, and has even developed a case of the hiccups (see The Married Life for details). I'll write more later on stuff, but for right now, consider this a friendly wave to the blogosphere. :)
Friday, April 9, 2004
Cheering Up
I'm feeling a little better since my relatively recent posts. Things are still kinda crappy, but I'm at least not having screaming panic attacks in the middle of the night now.
This is a meme from Kathy's blog. Here ya go:
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"2. In the Image menu, go to Rotate Canvas/Arbi-"
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
My printer.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
CNN, talking about Iraq.
4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is.
About 4:45 pm
5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
4:48! HA!
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Well, I can hear a printer in the next room, and people talking.
7. When did you last step outside? what were you doing?
About 1 1/2 hr. ago, to move my car.
8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
My college theatre group's message board/site.
9. What are you wearing?
Yellow T-shirt, black jeans, docksiders, and a Braves cap.
10. Did you dream last night?
Not last night, but given my dreams as of late, maybe that's for the best.
11. When did you last laugh?
A couple of hours ago. See Kathy's blog for the story.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A bulletin board, and that's it. *sigh* I really need to decorate some more in here.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
A white dog chasing cows around.
14. Last movie you saw?
In theatres? I believe that was "Cold Mountain".
15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A nice house.
16. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I didn't learn how to blow a gum bubble until I was 12.
17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I'd bring peace to the world.
18. Do you like to dance?
I do, though I don't dance often enough.
19. George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or someone who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
Pssshhhhheeeeeeyet. What do you think?
20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Siobhan.
21. [Same question for a boy].
Ian.
22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Until recently, no; now, I think it would be fun.
This is a meme from Kathy's blog. Here ya go:
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"2. In the Image menu, go to Rotate Canvas/Arbi-"
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
My printer.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
CNN, talking about Iraq.
4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is.
About 4:45 pm
5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
4:48! HA!
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Well, I can hear a printer in the next room, and people talking.
7. When did you last step outside? what were you doing?
About 1 1/2 hr. ago, to move my car.
8. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
My college theatre group's message board/site.
9. What are you wearing?
Yellow T-shirt, black jeans, docksiders, and a Braves cap.
10. Did you dream last night?
Not last night, but given my dreams as of late, maybe that's for the best.
11. When did you last laugh?
A couple of hours ago. See Kathy's blog for the story.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A bulletin board, and that's it. *sigh* I really need to decorate some more in here.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
A white dog chasing cows around.
14. Last movie you saw?
In theatres? I believe that was "Cold Mountain".
15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A nice house.
16. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I didn't learn how to blow a gum bubble until I was 12.
17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I'd bring peace to the world.
18. Do you like to dance?
I do, though I don't dance often enough.
19. George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or someone who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
Pssshhhhheeeeeeyet. What do you think?
20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Siobhan.
21. [Same question for a boy].
Ian.
22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Until recently, no; now, I think it would be fun.
Friday, March 12, 2004
Are you ready for The Friday Five?
1. What was the last song you heard?
"Wicked Little Town" by Ben Folds Five
2. What were the last two movies you saw?
In theatres? I think they were Cold Mountain and LOTR: Return of the King.
3. What were the last three things you purchased?
A Pepsi, a popsicle and a Coke.
4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
1) Snuggle my honey.
2) Watch Wrestlemania XX.
3) Clean up around the hosue
4) Ummm... trim the hedges?
5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
In some sort of order:
1) Darryl, my editor
2) Tonia, our classifieds person
3) Gaylea, one of our ad people
4) Kathy, my lovinest
5) Carla, our receptionist
"Wicked Little Town" by Ben Folds Five
2. What were the last two movies you saw?
In theatres? I think they were Cold Mountain and LOTR: Return of the King.
3. What were the last three things you purchased?
A Pepsi, a popsicle and a Coke.
4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
1) Snuggle my honey.
2) Watch Wrestlemania XX.
3) Clean up around the hosue
4) Ummm... trim the hedges?
5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
In some sort of order:
1) Darryl, my editor
2) Tonia, our classifieds person
3) Gaylea, one of our ad people
4) Kathy, my lovinest
5) Carla, our receptionist
Tuesday, March 9, 2004
I've Got Something to Put in You...
At the Gay Bar
Gay Bar!!!
I'm feeling a bit better today. Still kinda down over everything, but Kathy has worked overtime to cheer me up. Thanks, Bunny!
Also, Thankees to Ombra for your comment. You're a flower, you are, as Holli would say. :D I might still get a little down here and there, but just bear with me, folks. If we watch out for one another, we'll all better off.
Monday, March 8, 2004
Carry the Stones
I have been bearing an incredible load over the past few weeks, and I fear it is weighing me down so much that I may not be able to stagger back to my feet.
A couple of weeks ago, I learned of something going on in my family that I thought would never happen. This event has fucked with my mind since then, to the point that I am questioning the value of friendship, of family, and even of my own faith (in many things).
I used to have panic attacks a long time ago, until I found the strength within me to overcome them and live a "normal" life, like most of the rest of humanity. Now they've returned, and more frequently than ever. This past Friday, I took our car to Boone for servicing, and while I was there I spent the night at Kathy's mom's house, even though she wasn't there. Friday night I suffered four panic attacks. At one point I woke up screaming my wife's name.
What's worse, when I got home Saturday, Kathy and I got into a vicious arguement over something that 99% of the time could have been resolved with a simple "I love you" and a hug.
Getting back to the problem, though, I wish I could talk about what's going on in my family right now, but I feel so fucking vulnerable right now that I feel as if I'm taking a risk just posting this admittedly vague message on this blog. All I can say is that someone I once forgave for personal crimes against me has gone and perpetrated other, equally heinous crimes against other people who couldn't protect themselves, and this person should have goddamed known better!
I've been expecting them to call me to talk and I've been warned to keep things civil and not let on the truth I know, lest something slip out prematurely. As it stands right now, however, if that person was to call me, I would be VERY hard pressed not to let out a torrent of anger at them; anger that I have suppressed for a lifetime and from a myriad of different sources.
Why is it I'm always the last to know about family matters? Why do people feel the need to keep things from me until it's too late? Why do I feel like a pariah in all of this, not only with family but with friends? God, I just wish I could laugh again without feeling self-conscious. I'm just so motherfucking miserable.
Shit.
A couple of weeks ago, I learned of something going on in my family that I thought would never happen. This event has fucked with my mind since then, to the point that I am questioning the value of friendship, of family, and even of my own faith (in many things).
I used to have panic attacks a long time ago, until I found the strength within me to overcome them and live a "normal" life, like most of the rest of humanity. Now they've returned, and more frequently than ever. This past Friday, I took our car to Boone for servicing, and while I was there I spent the night at Kathy's mom's house, even though she wasn't there. Friday night I suffered four panic attacks. At one point I woke up screaming my wife's name.
What's worse, when I got home Saturday, Kathy and I got into a vicious arguement over something that 99% of the time could have been resolved with a simple "I love you" and a hug.
Getting back to the problem, though, I wish I could talk about what's going on in my family right now, but I feel so fucking vulnerable right now that I feel as if I'm taking a risk just posting this admittedly vague message on this blog. All I can say is that someone I once forgave for personal crimes against me has gone and perpetrated other, equally heinous crimes against other people who couldn't protect themselves, and this person should have goddamed known better!
I've been expecting them to call me to talk and I've been warned to keep things civil and not let on the truth I know, lest something slip out prematurely. As it stands right now, however, if that person was to call me, I would be VERY hard pressed not to let out a torrent of anger at them; anger that I have suppressed for a lifetime and from a myriad of different sources.
Why is it I'm always the last to know about family matters? Why do people feel the need to keep things from me until it's too late? Why do I feel like a pariah in all of this, not only with family but with friends? God, I just wish I could laugh again without feeling self-conscious. I'm just so motherfucking miserable.
Shit.
Thursday, March 4, 2004
Some of themail I get
I swear to God, some of the e-mail I get! This is one that I got in my Yahoo acount this morning:
ixtoovn afoal
Mar 4 4:14pm
'Get Put Locate Dislocate Find' 'for more bigger higher transfer better'
And that's just the header. The body is even "better":
Hello olstws ubbigwo gp!
CILAIS more better then vigaara.
For more info open attach.
ixtoovn afoal
Mar 4 4:14pm
'Get Put Locate Dislocate Find' 'for more bigger higher transfer better'
And that's just the header. The body is even "better":
Hello olstws ubbigwo gp!
CILAIS more better then vigaara.
For more info open attach.
Tuesday, March 2, 2004
Oh the places I've been!
create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide
Not bad, but I wanna visit 'em all!!!
I promise, my big gay wedding post is coming!
Monday, February 23, 2004
Friday, February 20, 2004
mp3 roulette
I saw this on someone else's blog and thought it might be cool to try:
Step 1: Open MP3 player or Winamp (or some application that plays mp3s)
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: Write down the first ten songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing
1) "No One is to Blame"-Howard Jones
2) "Lincoln Portrait"-Aaron Copland (composer), James Earl Jones (narrator)
3) "My War"-Black Flag
4) "Rocket Man"-William Shatner
5) "Baker Street"-Gerry Rafferty
6) "Eminence Front"-The Who
7) "If I Loved You"-from Carousel (I think it's Shirley Jones and Howard Keel)
8) "Breaking Us in Two"-Joe Jackson
9) "Sealab 2021 Theme"-Calamine
10) "My Heart Will Go On (South Park remix)"-Celine Dion, Trey Parker and Matt Stone
Innnnteresting, at least to me.
Step 1: Open MP3 player or Winamp (or some application that plays mp3s)
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: Write down the first ten songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing
1) "No One is to Blame"-Howard Jones
2) "Lincoln Portrait"-Aaron Copland (composer), James Earl Jones (narrator)
3) "My War"-Black Flag
4) "Rocket Man"-William Shatner
5) "Baker Street"-Gerry Rafferty
6) "Eminence Front"-The Who
7) "If I Loved You"-from Carousel (I think it's Shirley Jones and Howard Keel)
8) "Breaking Us in Two"-Joe Jackson
9) "Sealab 2021 Theme"-Calamine
10) "My Heart Will Go On (South Park remix)"-Celine Dion, Trey Parker and Matt Stone
Innnnteresting, at least to me.
Thursday, February 19, 2004
Love, marriage, and... ummm, stuff
I've finally reached a point where I have to write about the issue of gay marriage. 'Scuse me while I pull out my soapbox.
Over the past few months, I have heard the arguments for and against legitimizing same-sex marriages.
Over the past few months, I have heard the arguments for and against legitimizing same-sex marriages.
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