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40

I wasn’t sure what to get into this evening. I was thinking about writing something political, then I thought about doing a “Day in the Life” post, and then I was going to do a continuation on my concert posts.

Actually, I think right now I will discuss my age. I turned 40 this year. That’s right – the Big Four-Oh. I’m not sure how to feel about it. On one hand, I’m glad I made it, considering that there have been a couple of times in my life where I very easily might have had the journey ended looooong before getting here.

On the other hand, I can feel my age. I weigh more than I ever have before. This is something I can take care of if I were to get some exercise and maybe watch what I eat. Unfortunately, the other changes are a bit more difficult to deal with. A few months ago, I got my first eye exam ever, and found out that I have mild farsightedness. I have yet to get my prescription filled on that, but I know if I don’t get it soon, it can only get worse. I look in the mirror and I see a man with graying hair and scattered lines, where a much younger kid used to be.

I worry about how much longer I’ll live. There is a history of both longevity and premature death in my family. Two of my grandparents barely lived past 60, and two others lived well into their 80s. My grandmother on my father’s side saw her 90th birthday pass before she died. I hope I can live that long. It would be nice to see possible grandchildren when I am older.

It worries me that I’m running out of time to do the things I want to and need to do. I suppose the time to do them is now. I just need to take the first steps.

Sorry this isn’t your usual yukfest. I just hope someone out there is reading this and understanding where I’m coming from.

Clintster On Tour part 1

Blue Öyster Cult/Rush
James Brown Arena-April 23, 1986

I was a late bloomer in life. I got into popular music later than most people. I was also introduced to more carnal pleasures later than most, but that’s a whole different subject. Still, I managed in my life to see some pretty cool shows in my bachelorhood. From time to time, I intend to blog on the concerts I saw and the circumstances surrounding them. I can’t promise they’ll all be barnburners, but I think I need to write their stories down before I forget them.

My first concert came when I was 21 years old. I was still a sheltered kid from the mountains of North Carolina, looking for a place to fit in. I was working as a stockroom manager at a cafeteria in North Augusta, SC, still wondering if I would ever make it into college. My only outlet was listening to music, and one of my favorite bands was Rush. I couldn’t make up my mind whether I wanted to play bass like Geddy Lee or play drums like Neil Peart.

At this time, their current release was Power Windows, an album I thoroughly enjoyed. My favorite song was “Mystic Rhythms”, but I was fond of most of the tracks, and I played my cassette of it constantly. When I heard that they were coming to Augusta to play a concert, I knew I had to catch the show one way or another. The fact that Blue Oyster Cult was opening for them didn’t hurt matters, as “Don’t Fear the Reaper” was one of my all-time favorite songs.

I went to the local record store in March and bought two tickets, intending to use them as chick bait to find a date for the show. Gimme a break; at the time, I was young and naïve and seriously overestimated the sensual drawing power of a Canadian power trio who espoused a fondness for the writings of Ayn Rand. Unfortunately, my current social circle consisted of the people I worked with at the cafeteria, and of them the only person I would even think of inviting was dating some other guy.

There was one girl who had a crush on me, but the feeling wasn’t mutual. When I offered to take her to the show (mostly to get her off my back), she immediately rejected the offer, saying she didn’t go to “Devil music” shows. Mind you, this was the stretched out notch of the Bible Belt back in the ‘80s, when busybodies were concerned more with finding Satan hidden in the backwards-played grooves of a metal record than actually paying attention to their own children.

I finally turned to my friend Johnny. He was a guy I had become friends with when my family moved to the Augusta area two years before. He agreed, and on that fateful night, I took my ticket and about 20 bucks and we headed to the James Brown Arena (then creatively called the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center).

The show was general seating, so Johnny and I made our way to the floor and managed to work ourselves to a spot just a few feet from the stage. BOC opened the show, and played a pretty good set. I wasn’t as familiar with their work as I was with Rush’s, but I still enjoyed myself and sang along with the stuff I knew. Judging from my own slightly fuzzy memory of the audience’s reaction, the most popular song after “Reaper” was “Godzilla.”

When BOC finished their set, they left and it seemed like an eternity in the time between acts. Finally, the theme to “The Three Stooges” played, and Rush hit the stage and launched into “The Big Money” which was the big single off of “Power Windows.” I had a shit-eating grin for the remainder of the concert, and I’m not sure, but I think I caught Geddy Lee looking my direction a couple of times and smiling. He was probably thinking “what a freakin’ hick”, but I didn’t care; I was enjoying myself.

It was amazing! They played nearly everything off of Power Windows, and still had plenty of time to put in many of the audience favorites. “Closer to the Heart.” “The Spirit of Radio.” “2112” “The Trees”

The centerpiece, however, was of course “Tom Sawyer.” What “Don’t Fear the Reaper” was/is to BOC, “Tom Sawyer” is to Rush. What makes that song so special to me? Well, I could say it’s the lyrics, which kinda bridge the gap between Mark Twain’s character and that of Paul Atredies in Fran Herbert’s Dune series. OR it could be the fact that Geddy Lee found a way to make synthesizers fit into metal (although that may have been a curse more than a blessing, as it paved the way for Europe’s “The Final Countdown”.)

If pressed, however, and you don’t have to press hard, I would have to say the secret ingredient in “Tom Sawyer” has to be what I regard as “The Greatest Freakin’ Drum Solo EVER!” In the instrument break, as the band prepares to go back to the prechorus, Neil Peart lets loose with a drum solo that simply leaves me breathless every time. Seeing it live in my first concert only seared my opinion of the solo, as I saw Peart beat his drum kit like it owed him money. That was when I knew that I had chosen well for my first rock concert.

I left the area with my hearing diminished ever so slightly, a Rush shirt I had bought after the show, and a sense that I was a little more attuned to the world around me. I also had the feeing of what it was like to have a complete stranger rub on you in a crowded arena, as someone had done that throughout Rush’s set. I was afraid to turn around and face the snuggler, afraid that it would be a bit older and more male than I would have liked.

Still in all, it was a great first show for me to attend. It would have been a bit better for me socially if I had gone to this concert (or one like it) about five years earlier, but I’m still glad that I am able to count this as my first.

Setlist:
Intro ("Three Stooges Theme")
The Spirit Of Radio
Limelight
The Big Money
Subdivisions
Manhattan Project
Middletown Dreams
Witch Hunt
Red Sector A
Closer To The Heart
Marathon
The Trees
Mystic Rhythms
Distant Early Warning
Territories
YYZ
Drum Solo
Red Lenses
Encore: Tom Sawyer
2112
Overture
The Temples Of Syrinx
Grand Designs
In The Mood
NEXT TIME: My last concert (to date)

Clintster vs. K-Fed

I’m sure by now you’ve heard about it. The Election Day shocker that had people questioning their faith in our nation, our Constitution, and the existence of an ever-loving God.

Democrats winning Congress? Pshaw! I’m talking ‘bout Britney filing for divorce against K-Fed!

In a one year span of time, Britney Spears went from being a pop princess going steady with Justin Timberlake (who knew he’d be the better end of that relationship?) to a quickie marriage to her high school bud Jason Alexander to marrying a backup dancer with stars in his eyes and money on his mind.

When I heard that Britney had decided to divorce K-Fed, I decided to seek a little insight into the world of this Fresno “king of the world”, so I got a hold of his debut album, Playing With Fire. I had heard his first single at the first of the year, so I wasn’t expecting a magnum opus on a par with Enter The 36 Chambers or even To The Extreme, but I was hoping to at least get some campy, William Shatner’s The Transformed Man value out of it.

No such luck.

We start with the Intro, which starts with a plethora of kids’ voices, which fade into one tyke asking the “musical” question, “Grandpa, can you tell us a story about when you were young?” It’s pretty obvious that Grandpa is K-Fed, although we’re not sure of where these grandchildren come from. Are they Britney’s or are they Shar Jackson’s (the woman that Kevvy left pregnant to run off with Ms. Spears. My guess is this is the progeny of the offspring of the next superstar that K-Fed is able to mooch from; let’s call the rugrat “Firecrotch Lohan-Federline”.

Sadly, the first 15 seconds of this track are the most entertaining of the entire album, as we dissolve into a babbling montage of faked news reports talking about the troubled marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Federline. Good thing they were able to put those scurrilous rumors to rest, eh?

The rest of the album just goes downhill from there. Basically, Kevin’s songs can be broken down into four themes:

• I’m so rich and popular that everybody flocks to me when I go to the clubs.
• All those hatin’ haters hate me ‘cause I’m so rich and popular, yo.
• Y’all just jealous ‘cause I married Britney Spears, but we’re gonna be together forever, no matter what you say.
• If I wasn’t so high off this primo weed right now, I’d whup all y’all ass.

He usually puts at least two of these concepts into every song, sometimes combining all of them into one verse. K-Fed also manages to slip the sound of someone inhaling everybody’s favorite herb at least once in every song. That was cool as hell back when Dr. Dre made The Chronic. In 1992. Now, it’s almost as cliché as the “yo man, you comin’ to the club?” interludes that also pepper the album.

By the third track, “America’s Most Hated”, it’s pretty evident that Kevin Federline is nothing but a wannabe trying too hard to fit in with the hip-hop artists he gets stoned to. The album is unimaginative, painfully lame, and not worth playing more than once, even for camp value.

The only satisfaction the listener might receive from Playing With Fire is the sense of Schadenfreude in his now painfully dated boasts of the solidity of his marriage to Britney Spears. One rhyme, on his single “Lose Control” says:

I’m a superstar
And I married a superstar
Can’t never come between us
No matter who ya are

I guess it’s technically true, since it was Brit herself who sent the text message to Kevin letting him know his marital services were no longer required.

Oh, and just in case you were curious, here are a few more nuggets of wisdom from PWF:

• He’s hotter than a pizza oven.
• “Dudes hate K-Fed. Girls love K-Fed. It doesn’t matter to me ‘cause K-Fed stay fed”
• He compares himself to Tupac at one point. Yes. He went there.
• He’s comin’ out like Janet’s boob at the Super Bowl. At least hers was talented.
• He loves pancakes.

I kid you not. Kevin mentions “pancakes” about 7 or 8 times on this album. At least we know what to give him when he has the munchies, but just when you think he’s done rapping about them, he brings them up again. Insert your own IHOP joke here.

This was truly painful. 98% of the time I had a look on my face that I can only describe as “incredulous.” At one point, he brags that he has $50 million, so he can rap about whatever he wants. Proof positive that money can buy lots of things, but talent and respectability are not two of them.

What's On Your iPod Friday

For all those who are unfamiliar with the game:

Place your iPod (or MP3 player) on random play and blog the first 15 songs that show up. if you don't have a portable music device, use your favorite media player (iTunes, Windows Media Player, Winamp, etc.)

Here's mine:
1) Mozart: Die Zauberflöte, K 620 - Florence Foster Jenkins
2) Lovey Dovey - Local H
3) Alive - Pearl Jam (Live 12/31/92)
4) Sunglasses At Night - Corey Hart
5) We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
6) Small Town (Acoustic) - John Mellencamp
7) Creeping Death - Metallica
8) New Kid In Town - The Eagles
9) Echoes - Pink Floyd
10) Love Is In The Air - John Paul Young
11) Shy - Ani DiFranco
12) Kyle's Mom Is A Big Fat Bitch - Joe C. featuring Kid Rock
13) Barber: Adagio for Strings, Op. 11 - Canadian Brass
14) Tunnel Of Love - Dire Straits
15) (Love Is) Thicker Than Water - Andy Gibb

editor's note: I apologize to anyone out there who is waiting for my K-Fed post, but I'm still trying to get the memory of his music tamped down sufficiently to write a coherent post. Keep checking back.

Well, that's surprising

What American accent do you have? Your Result: Philadelphia Your accent is as Philadelphian as a cheesesteak! If you're not from Philadelphia, then you're from someplace near there like south Jersey, Baltimore, or Wilmington. if you've ever journeyed to some far off place where people don't know that Philly has an accent, someone may have thought you talked a little weird even though they didn't have a clue what accent it was they heard.
The Northeast
The Midland
The Inland North
The South
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

The Day After

So, it's the day after the election. I'm feeling several different emotions today; I'm mostly happy, but I'm also feeling some sadness at a couple of issues, and frankly, some schadenfreude.

* We're still waiting out the results for the Senate race in Virginia, and it may actually be weeks before a winner is officially declared, but it appears that Jim Webb will be our new senator. Fine by me; George Allen was a bit too cocky for my taste.

* Virginia is for lovers - some restrictions apply. Although, I am happy that Arizona bucked the trend. Oh, and Missouri approved stem-cell research. And South Dakota voters threw off the odious anti-abortion bill that the legislature passed earlier this year.

* I think it's great that the Democratic party is back in control of at least one chamber of Congress, but I think that once the dust settles and the champagne headaches go away, the party should seek the higher ground and reach across the aisle. I can't speak for everyone, but I for one am sick and tired of people telling one another that they're un-American because of this issue or that.

Today I'm celebrating. Tomorrow, I'm hoping the change begins. It will come slowly, and there's a hell of a mess to clean up, but together we all (Democrats AND Republicans) can restore some sanity and faith in the legislative process.

God bless America. Let love rule.

The ghosts of elections past

As I'm sitting here in my newspaper office, waiting for election results to come in, I'm thinking back to the past three congressional elections:

2000-I was in the mountains of North Carolina, wondering how I was going to ever make a living in anything but waiting tables. I went to my polling place, which was also my elementary school as a kid, and cast my ballot. I watched the results through the night, and when it was announced somewhere after midnight that Bush had won Florida, I fell asleep, thinking it was all over. I awoke about 4am, to hear the news that Gore was challenging the call in Florida, and the rest is convoluted history.

Unbeknownst to me, my future wife was in the next county over, sleeping soundly, having decided that the election that year wasn't going to be "all that important."

2002-With war on everyone's mind, I wasn't sure what was going to happen on Election Day. It's traditional that the non-Presidential party picks up seats in the midterms, but it wasn't so this time. I was a little embittered the next day. The thing that gave me hope, though, was hearing "A Lincoln Portrait" by Copland on the radio as I was out driving around.

2004-Bush over Kerry. At least I had my son and wife.

I hope this year is more hopeful (at least from my vantage point) when all is said and done. In any case, I'm still here, and I am still an American, and damn proud of it.

Vote!!!

Just a remember, Tuesday is Election Day. If you're Democratic, Republican, Libertarian, Green, Constitutionalist, or Natural Law, or if you're just plain ol' independent, go out and VOTE!!!

Seriously.

Just to Prove I Didn't...

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot;
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

The Last Pumpkin on Halloween

Finishing up the first part of my adventurous week that was, I need to talk about our Halloween. I went as a zombie, Kathy went as a witch, and Ian was a dinosaur, or “Dido” as he calls it.

I woke up about 6 Halloween morning to apply my makeup, seeing as how I promised my love that I would do her makeup as well before we all went off to town. Almost as soon as I finished (this took about 45 minutes,) Ian and Kathy both woke up.

Kathy waked into the room and almost pooped herself when she saw me. Her first words were “Do you think Ian’s gonna be scared of you?” There was only one way to find out. She brought him out of his room and set him on the floor. Almost immediately our boy, still sleepy from a late night, crossed the floor to my chair, curled up in my lap and grabbed his morning juice cup, not even bothering so much as a furrowed brow on my part.

I took this as a sign that either

1. He was an incredibly fearless boy, or
2. My makeup job absolutely sucked

After doing Kathy’s makeup and getting Ian dressed, we all went to town and our respective stops. People kept coming by my office during the day to see my makeup. If we had had a costume contest, I think I might have been the winner, or a close second.

The crowning touch, though, was when Kathy and I went out for lunch. As I was getting my drink, a coed from W&L came up to me and said “You even did your hands. Man, you’re hardcore!” Yes, I even applied makeup to my hands to get the creepy vibe going. I wish I had time to distress some clothes for my costume, but the naturally ratty stuff I found in the bottom of my dresser served equally well.

Anyway, there’s not much more to tell about that. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have a more ribald tale to tell. Maybe.

Gunfight at Malone’s

So, I’m sitting here on the group W bench… nonono

OK, so aside from the “Jeopardy!” auditions, things were… interesting last weekend.

Sunday, we almost got thrown out of a restaurant downtown. We had just gotten out of church when we smelled something delicious coming from the restaurant located near our parking space. Kathy asked if I was hungry, and despite a nagging feeling in my stomach that this would not end well, I agreed.

We went in, took our seats and I went out to get a newspaper. I should have known something was up when I returned, because the waitress asked me what I wanted to drink, and when I asked her to repeat herself (I didn’t hear her) she asked the question again in a much ruder tone. I told her “umm, Coke, Pepsi, whatever”, and returned to my seat.

We ordered our sandwiches (after some confusion over who was getting chips or potato salad) and an appetizer of cheese fries, and got down to family bonding. Ian got restless, so I had to walk him around the restaurant until he calmed down. A couple of minutes later, the waitress brought out our cheese fries.

Now, unbeknownst to me, Kathy had been trying to flag down our waitress to see if she could bring out some chips for Ian. She was ignored, and when the fries came, Ian wanted some. Unfortunately, they were still hot from having been fried and covered with molten cheese. Despite our best efforts, we could not cool the fries down enough for him to eat them, and so when he put one in his mouth, he would inevitably burn his mouth and scream.

After a few minutes of this, our waitress came over and informed us that we would have to move to another part of the restaurant. It would have been kinda acceptable if she didn’t have this smug smirk on her face as she informed us we’d have to move (NOTE: we were the only table with a child in the place.) Kathy immediately got indignant and told her that we’d just leave instead. Kat sought out the manager before we left and told him about our problem. He took care of our meal, and we left.

The two of us were just shaking all the way home at the rudeness that the waitress displayed. When we got home, I volunteered to go out to Taco Bell to get ourselves some lunch. I had to wait a half-hour to calm down enough to go there.

When I eventually did, I found there was a bus load of special needs people in the restaurant. I just decided to wait it out, and when I got to the counter to order, I was very courteous and thanked the cashier when I got our food.

A couple of days later, we were giving a friend of ours (who’s from Massachusetts) a ride to work and told him of our experience. The restaurant advertises itself as being “a pub in the Boston tradition”. Jonathan queried “So, what, they’re rude?”

In any event, if you ever come to visit us in Lexington, you can have your choice of restaurants to go to. Except Malone’s; attempt no landing there.

Next time: Halloween with the Clintster and family.

What Is "A Dream Deferred"?

I promised I was going to post about my "Jeopardy!" experience, and now I shall make good on that promise.

Last week, Kathy and I were watching the show when an ad came on, announcing the Jeopardy Brain Bus was coming to Roanoke on Monday. I jumped up and down like a kid finding out that Santa Claus was coming to town.

Monday afternoon, I took off from work early and made the 45-mile journey to Roanoke to stand in line for the contestant search. When I got to the Center on the Square, there was already a line stretching around the block. I took my place, got a wristband, and waited.

About 15 minutes after arrival, the first of the successful contestants came running down the sidewalk. He was a skinny, redneck-looking guy who was singing at the top of his voice "Jeopardy is my destinyyyyy!!!" He then was kind enough to inform us that he had only missed one question on the test; "It was the Loch Ness monster," he helpfully informed those of us in line.

We kept waiting and moving as the line before us shrank. Some guys behind me began talking about "Jeopardy!" and other game shows. Someone talked about a question they had seen on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?", having to do with the drummer for INXS. Out of instinct, I nearly blurted out "Tim Farriss" (which would have been wrong; I just checked), but kept it to myself.

Finally, after 45 minutes, I reached the door and was welcomed into the testing center. I thought it was going to be the full 50-question test that I had taken online back in April; instead it was a 10-question test that would gain you access to the Big 50. I had 5 minutes to answer all 10, and I completed them in 90 seconds.

I handed it in to the proctor, who saw my nervous, worried expression and reassured me, "Hey, it's all just fun. Relax!" I calmed down a little as he looked over my answers. He asked my name, where I was from, and how long it took to get to Roanoke. I told him. He handed me a letter, and said "See you tomorrow, and be sure to bring that good energy with you."

I walked out, floating on air, and called Kathy to let her know the good news. She asked me when I was supposed to be back in Roanoke. I looked at the sheet for the first time, and realized to my horror that I had to be back at 9am Tuesday.

The problem with that was Tuesday is press day at my newspaper, and I had to be there to process photos and print out negatives for the printers. Also, our sports editor had computer problems Monday, so I had to be there to help get the sports section put together for the issue. I was also nervous about the online test and whether it counted against the "One 'Jeopardy!' Audition Per Year" rule. I finally decided to just let my online audition ride, and try again in person somewhere next year.

I'm kinda sad that I wasn't able to go and continue the audition, but at least I have a good idea how the Brain Bus/regional auditions work now. For me, appearing on "Jeopardy!" isn't a question of "if"; it's a matter of "when", and it's coming very, very soon!!!

It's National Blog Posting Month!

Saw this on someone else's blog, and I decided to do it, even though I'm starting too late to be eligible for the contest. If nothing else, it'll give me a chance to stretch my writing chops, or something.

In order to reach a wider audience, I'm going to post simultaneously on Clintster's So Called Life and on my MySpace blog. They'll mostly be the same post, but I will try to post exclusives to each. I hope that this will spark some creativity on my part; God knows I need it!

Just a little preview of my next post, later today: my early week of adventure, including Halloween, "Jeopardy!", and getting thrown out of a restaurant. Chew on those for a while, and I'll be back!

Back, but for how long?

OK, I haven't blogged in a while, but I think it's time I picked up the torch anew.

It's summer and that means travel. I thought I'd give you a taste of the McGuire family itinerary for the summer months. NOTE: I've included the trips we've made already to this point.

Early June: Greensboro NC/Blowing Rock NC - Ian's first trip to Tweetsie Railroad.
Late June: Aiken SC - Clint's college reunion
Late June: Minneapolis, MN - Kathy at conference
Late July: Aiken, SC/Tampa, FL/Vidalia, GA - Family vacation
Early August: Boone, NC - Recital (and maybe some "Horn" goodness)

More later, as I get back in the swing of things (I hope.)